Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo

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(616): View more from Michigan

If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

Since when is my name a synonym for head?

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(602): View more from Arizona

Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.

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(727): View more from Florida

there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.

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