Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit