Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.

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  (901): I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed. http://tfl.nu/im7o
  Replies (20) Good night (628) Bad night (3198)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers

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  (516): You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers http://tfl.nu/mh21
  Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (3911)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.

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  (918): WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/fz7p
  Replies (9) Good night (1281) Bad night (4104)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (9283) Bad night (1306)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He just called me juicy booty via text message.

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  (812): He just called me juicy booty via text message. http://tfl.nu/j99z
  Replies (6) Good night (1997) Bad night (1049)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.

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  (804): French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops. http://tfl.nu/0hfd
  Replies (5) Good night (2223) Bad night (793)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.

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  (979): I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that. http://tfl.nu/fwoy
  Replies (1) Good night (1195) Bad night (843)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

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  (845): Just got motor boated by a horse in the street http://tfl.nu/nm8s
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (919)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...

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  (450): She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do... http://tfl.nu/okgn
  Replies (10) Good night (3581) Bad night (757)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."

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  (970): He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park." http://tfl.nu/6eh6
  Replies (9) Good night (1279) Bad night (607)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture

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  (920): bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture http://tfl.nu/2y39
  Replies (7) Good night (600) Bad night (1095)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

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  (214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird
  Replies (6) Good night (1055) Bad night (468)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me

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  (413): Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me http://tfl.nu/3euu
  Replies (7) Good night (622) Bad night (1131)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (403)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever

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  (613): I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere (514): Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever http://tfl.nu/1t8i
  Replies (6) Good night (1320) Bad night (418)

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