Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's