I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I could make wine with my vomit
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.