Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
