i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
