Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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