Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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