I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize