Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
