Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
