he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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