dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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