it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
