You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Small penises have feelings too.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
