Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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