you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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