no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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