tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Couch. On fire.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
