Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
