umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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