I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
