He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
