Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
