so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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