I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
