speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
