He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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