I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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