You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
