I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
