I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
vagina is talking i cant
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
