Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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