I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize