it hurts more in the daytime
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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