He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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