There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
