got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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