why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
