hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
