a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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