I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Oh god it's open bar.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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