After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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