You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize