So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
