i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
