when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
