You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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