he wants to bone in the snuggie
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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