I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he thought i was a dude.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
