I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
