Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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