im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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