i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
