i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
