she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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