If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
