oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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