just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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