Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
