so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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