Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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